Apocalyptic Wine

By Maureen C. Petrosky

I almost spit my wine out when I heard Paris Hilton thought she couldn’t get swine flu because she didn’t eat pork. I was even more surprised when my neighbor kept her kids home from school today because of the reported cases in the tri-sate area. Seriously, aren’t we used to this idea of the yearly plague yet? In the past few years we’ve been scared of SARS, West Nile, Mad Cow, and the Avian flu, and that’s just off the top of my head. Yesterday, my mother honestly asked me if I had enough food in my home to sustain my family for six weeks. I’m more concerned about having enough wine.

The initial idea of backyard bunkers, stockpiling meds, and barricading myself in my home didn’t appeal to me. But then I decided to look at this glass as half full. Luckily, thus far, I have avoided all of the above illnesses and for those of you just as fortunate, let’s look at the positive side of swine flu. A lockdown could actually be very productive for me. Maybe then I would have a chance to get through the six books on my nightstand. I could play Scrabble, organize my wine, pull some clothes together for the Purple Heart, and finally locate that label maker. All of this, however, will not be possible unless I have enough wine. So I urge you to check your stash and head out today to secure enough reds, whites, and bubbles to sustain you and yours through this current healthcare crisis. (Remember to ask for a case discount!) It isn’t an apocalypse yet, so be positive, be prepared, and when you get home wash your hands before you pour!