Here's to You

By Judith Garfield

It’s a fact: Americans fear public speaking more than…death.

According to the “The Book of Lists,” the fear of public speaking ranks number one in the minds of the majority of the people. Number two is death. Number three is probably, according to me, a combination of the two, fear of dying (metaphorically speaking) while talking in front of an audience.

As Jerry Seinfeld observes, most people would rather be the subject of a eulogy than deliver one. I concur.

This past year my two beautiful daughters have gotten married, and S. and I wanted to say a few words at the receptions. Needless to say, we were a little scared about making fools of ourselves. I think we pulled it off, and even made it sound spontaneous, but let me tell you, it took a lot of rehearsing to look unrehearsed.

My advice to you, if you are going to be toasting, is practice, practice, practice, and then practice some more. And definitely try to memorize. No notes or papers to fumble with. There is nothing worse than watching someone struggling to find their place with a bunch of crumpled papers. My biggest tip is this: Keep it short and sweet. You will rarely hear someone say, “I wish that toast had lasted longer.” On the other hand, how many times have you thought, “I’m glad that’s over. It went on forever”?

A little humor is always good, but make sure it’s appropriate and that you are comfortable being funny. Or start with the disclaimer like S. did, “My wife has informed me that I am not funny, so I won’t even try.” It got a laugh and S. milked it with a dramatic pause, which was quite effective. He was also well prepared thanks to my insistence that we say our parts to each other every free moment.

You can take a few other steps to ease you fears. Try toastmasters.org if you really are interested in becoming more comfortable in front of audiences. If you want some ideas for your speech, try weddingtoasts.com where you can buy, for the low, low price of 19.95, a heartfelt, memorable wedding tribute to ------- and --------- (insert couple names here).


Fellow toasters, I hope that any toast you make is fresh, never stale, and perfectly done.

Cheers!